So someone asked me today to describe my ideal bedroom with a partner. How would you want it to be? Well shit if that isn’t a loaded question to ask me.
Of course I responded with the most benign answer. Why something neutral in tans, creams, light and fluffy. I got the typical response of how appropriate that would be and how they felt it would be pleasant to the home and give the bedroom a soft loving atmosphere. How can I not roll my eyes at this, all the while thinking, yeah how typical of you.
I thought about describing what I found exciting, pleasant and pleasing to the senses. But I knew I would get a look like I was a member of some satanic cult or a lecture on my unconventional methods of madness. I refuse to conform to a standard way of Christian ethics or behaviors even though my beliefs are in line with there being a one true God.
So as I sit and think about the question at hand, it brings me to a very realization that although I’m what I’d consider myself to be, a bearer of light, I’m drawn to the most absurd and passionate excitement that seems to only exist in darkness. I am and feel all things love, light, compassion, simple, and innocent. Yet to be fulfilled my senses reach out to lust, pain, mystery, sinister, and evil. I can only be whole when my light comes together with the dark. I’m always searching for the perfect partner, the dark half to compliment my light. Neither consumes the other to swallow whole but to coexist in perfect harmony in perfect union.
How I would have liked to described the perfect bedrooms within a relationship I would someday hope to attain is off the norm.
One would be in all white and soft pastel green with a canopy bed. The theme would lean towards the nautical and give off a child like purity.
The Other (yes separate bedrooms) even if we sleep in one room together every night or not. It would be like a dark gothic forest where you’re afraid to go into the forest for fear of what you will encounter.